Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
