We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
