if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
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