If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
