Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
40s are totally the cure
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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