Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
