Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
