i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
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