Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
