hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
