Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Randomize
