just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
