I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
