I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
