just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
3 2 1 whiskey
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
