Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
