Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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