Christians are straight up FREAKS
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
