Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
