don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize