I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
