So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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