margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
