creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
