after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
