ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
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