Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
