The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
