My sheets look like a crime scene.
I don't think brook has ever known best
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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