We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Randomize
