is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
