Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I want to have your abortion
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
