Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
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What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
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So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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