i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
