this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Randomize