can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
