Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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