I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
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