My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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