His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I think my nap took me to another dimension
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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