Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
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