distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
