How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
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I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
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Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
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