im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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