Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
The feeling are messing with the penis
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
