This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
