I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
