I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
you win again, gameday.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
