You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
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