just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Randomize
