Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
She tied me up with her honor cords...
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Randomize
