This is not my ceiling
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize