is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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