this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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