Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Drunk is a universal language darling
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