haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
