We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
