eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
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