Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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