how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Just high enough for therapy.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
