The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
