You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize