That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
