Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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