I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
