dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
