I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
